Niklas' blog

Support-phone day. Today I present an opera in two separate parts; the first is the calm before the storm.

1. The password.

me: Welcome to IT support, I am Niklas, can I help you?
user: Eh…my password isn’t working.
m: Hello! Which system are you trying to log into?
u: I…I…the password isn’t working.
m: I understand. Which system are you trying to use your password for?
u: System X!
m: Ah, system X.

This system is known for not accepting any Swedish characters in the password-field.

m: Are there any Swedish characters in your password, i.e. å, ä or ö?
u: What?
m: I wonder if there are any Swedish characters present in your password, i.e. the password you use when you log into the network.
u: I don’t know.
m: [...] Well, this is the same password that you use to log into the network, i.e. the first password you have to use after you have turned on your computer.
u: OK.
m: So, does it contain any Swedish characters?
u: I don’t know.
m: [...] OK. I will change your current password and you will be able to pick a new one.
u: OK!

After a few seconds:

m: Now, all you have to do is enter a new password; it cannot be one you have used the past 12 times, it must be at least six characters long and must not contain any Swedish characters. You have to enter the same password twice for verification-purposes, as is shown on your screen right now.
u: Eh…what?

I repeat myself.

u: Oh, I see.

The person now enters two entirely different passwords for both fields, of which the second is a mandatory field for verifying the password first entered.

m: Sorry for interrupting you, but before you press Enter I must say this: the passwords you have entered are different in length; you must enter a password in the first field and duplicate it below.
u: But I have.
m: No, you actually haven’t – as you can see, the length of the first password does not match the second password.
u: Right.
m: Hence, you have to re-type both passwords.

The user does this, hits Enter, and gets into the system.

m: Great! Now you are logged in, and don’t hesitate to call if you cannot log into the system!
u: I will, thanks!

2. The e-mail.

me: Welcome to IT support, I am Niklas, can I help you?
user: Hello! I’ve just returned from my vacation, and, well, the e-mail isn’t working.
m: Hello! Well, what exactly do you mean? Is there a problem logging into the e-mail service, or something else?
u: Not really, the e-mail doesn’t sort folders like it used to. [name of user's computer]
m: Oh, would you like me to connect to your computer in order for me to see what the problem is?
u: Yes.

I connected to the user’s computer, and saw the e-mail client. Usually, a user’s list of folders looks like this, where all user-created are located in one specific folder:

Inbox
Calendar
Contacts
Document
Checklist
Work in progress
Folder
╚Folder1
╚Folder2
╚Folder3
Junk mail
Rubbish bin

The user’s list of folders looked like this:

Folder1
Inbox
Calendar
Contacts
Folder2
Document
Checklist
Folder3
Folder4
Work in progress
Folders
Junk mail
Folder5
Rubbish bin

m: I see! The easiest way to sort this list–
u: It’s impossible.
m: Pardon me?
u: Sorting. It’s impossible.

I explained and displayed how one can sort these folders.

u: Well, that way wasn’t available a moment ago.
m: This is how you sort folders! Are there any other questions I can help you with?
u: Of course.

This was followed by a pause.

m: I–
u: But how do I sort the folders the way I want them to be sorted?
m: Well, how would you like them sorted?
u: Thing is, where I used to work, see, the folders could be sorted any way I wanted. Why’s that not possible now?
m: That depends; you might have used another e-mail client where you used to work, and, if so, it probably worked differently.
u: Right. But what now?
m: Eh, if you want to sort your folders in a specific way, that can be done…

Here, I explained the ways one could sort the folders.

u: Right. But this isn’t the way I want them sorted.
m: Please explain how you would like them sorted.
u: Well, I want to keep my old e-mail, the stuff I received from my former work-place, here, and the new stuff here.
m: Sorry, but are you using your fingers to point at the screen?
u: Yes, of course!
m: I’m sorry, but I cannot see where you are pointing, as I am not in your room. Please, use the mouse-pointer.

Pause.

u: Well, here and here.
m: You pointed at two folders – would you like to place your e-mail under [folderx]and [foldery]?
u: No!
m: Please, be more specific.
u: Above and below the Inbox!
m: Oh! You would like to view all your old e-mail, so to speak, above your Inbox, and all e-mail received while working here, below your Inbox?
u: Of course! To minimise my moving the mouse-pointer when dragging e-mail. Anyway, that’s such a hassle: whenever I move e-mail, they just vanish, disappear, poof!
m: Can you please show me?
u: Certainly!

This is followed by the user dragging an e-mail to folder1, followed by clicking folder2.

u: You see? The e-mail just vanished!
m: I’m sorry, but you happened to drop the e-mail in–
u: The computer does this all the time!
m: No, I’m quite certain you’ll find the e-mail in folder1, have a look.

The user checked folder1 and found said e-mail.

u: How very strange!
m: Not really; the e-mail accidentally ended up in folder1 because I think you slipped while dragging it.
u: Well…let’s try again!

The user now dragged the e-mail from folder1 towards the Inbox, but somehow wavered and dropped the e-mail into folder3; to top this off, she audibly clicked hard and caught a folder, which she pulled to the Inbox, before letting go. I wish I were making this up. Anyway, all of this very easily explained why her cluster of folders was assembled the way it was.

u: You see! I never get along with this shit.
m: Well, to be frank, I could actually hear how you accidentally let go of the e-mail, and [...]

I cut myself off here, in fear of otherwise boring you to death with minute details on how drag-and-dropping works in the physical world. But this was not the end of all theories metaphysical. The person called again, appx. ten minutes later.

m: Welcome to IT support, I am Niklas, can I help you?
u: Listen, I’m not content.
m: Sorry? I beg your pardon, but who is this?
u: It’s me.

I was instantly reminded of Einstürzende Neubauten’s song “Ich Bins”, which is a phrase the German attack-police was instructed to use whenever they knocked a door and the inhabitant asked who it was. “It’s me” is what apparently hits home good enough for the person in control to be foiled into opening the door, and hence, loses all control.

m: PersonX?
u: Of course! Anyway, listen, you guys at IT have to spend a while thinking this one out: I want to sort my items in another way. I’ve been clicking around and things are way worse than when you had a look last time around. Check again, and you’ll see!
m: But of course.

I connect, and see that the user’s mailbox looks like it did when I was connected the last time.

u: Can’t you see? Everything’s messed-up!
m: I…cannot see anything wrong; please tell me what seems to be the matter.
u: Are you telling me you can’t see what’s wrong?
m: Yes, I am. Now please, tell me what’s wrong, if I am to help you.
u: Well…there are e-mails I have dragged to the wrong folders, and I would like you to help me get them back.

Now, there was no way I could have seen them, as I had not a) memorised the contents of the folders I previously had viewed, and b) telepathic powers.

m: Well, as I do not know where these displaced e-mails are, which they are or where they should be, I cannot do it for you, but I will, however, show you how to drag-and-drop e-mails.
u: Oh, great! Please do.

I now, yes, again, showed the user how to drag-and-drop e-mails from one folder to another.

u: Fantastic! But there’s just one more problem.
m: Really, I’ll try to do my best.
u: Well, I want all my folders from my old work-place to be placed above the Inbox, and the other ones below it.
m: I must say, wouldn’t it be better to create a folder titled “Old e-mail” and another one titelled “New e-mail” in the main folder-container? This is how most people sort their e-mails, i.e. moving it to sub-folders under the folder-container.
u: What? Really? I never!
m: To tell the truth, I have never even heard of a way to sort e-mail as the one you are suggesting, but let’s try it out!
u: Yes, let’s.

After a while, I find that this is impossible in every way but one, which is quite rough and entails actually rebuilding the entire structure of one’s folders every time one wishes to create a new one. Don’t ask, Novell GroupWise just works that way.

u: I can’t work that way!
m: Well, that is actually the only way to accomplish this. I advise you strongly to take the path I suggested previously.
u: No! It’s just too far to drag the e-mails that way!
m: I beg your pardon for saying this, but the difference would be a couple of mere centimeters at most, when moving the mouse-pointer.
u: Oh, really?
m: Yes – I’ll show you.

And I created a folder-structure for the user, showed how drag-and-dropping worked again (for the third time) and the user got it. The user got it.

u: Thank you! But I think I managed to do what I wanted to do previously, at my old work-place.
m: You may have, but it would have required a different e-mail-system, a plug-in to do it, or some kind of third-party programming to perform such a feat; I just don’t think it’s possible if you used Novell GroupWise at the time.
u: I probably didn’t. Thank you!
m: Don’t mention it. Thanks for calling.
u: Oh, before we hang up, I just wonder: can I call you directly about this sorting-business? I think it’s still a bit messy.
m: I’m afraid not, support-issues are always to be handled through our central emergency-phone, as I may be away for some reason, for weeks at a time.
u: Oh, away.
m: Yes, for instance on holiday.
u: Yes, yes. Right you are. Holiday.

Pause.

m: Thanks for calling!
u: Mmm.

The user now hung up.