Dr. Phil again

Dr. PhilI recently saw this episode of Dr. Phil, that made me laugh and cringe; laugh at the followers of religions and cringe at children living like crap. Here’s a recap of the story from the Dr. Phil-site:

Dan and Janna have seven kids, no income, no heat, no running water and are about to lose their house. They believe that their primitive lifestyle is God’s will, and that they are being led by the Lord.

That’s pretty grim, considering they’ve got seven children. Yep, 7 kids! They believe God has given them the power to reproduce, so why not use that power? And as God has the power to give, oh yes, then he will, Hallelujah. And if this family has no money, they’ll have God to help them. Check this mad shit further out:

Dan has had eight failed businesses but has recently applied for positions at other companies. While he awaits a job offer, he works on his projects around the house.

I’m convinced that either of two things will happen at this point:

1. Dan will be handed the CEO spot at Google Inc. He will receive a letter directly from God telling him he’s got the spot if he wants it, even though he didn’t apply for the job. Dan will have all the money in the world and his family will be unable to even spend the interest.

2. Dan and his family will die.

Well, seriously speaking I’m sort of hoping Darwin will prove my theory right, but merely kill off Dan and his just-as-insane wife and let the kids into some new home where they can grow up in a sane environment.

End of story? Think again.

Dr. Phil claims to live his life in christian fashion, and unless he’s checked his checkered past lately, he’s living in denial or is lying. So, Phil’s not christian, according to the bible. Just check Deuteronomy 4:2 for this:

Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.

So Phil’s not doing what God wants him to. Big deal; most religious people are hypocrites. But as he claims to be on the kids’ side…well, what happened? No old-school “I’m going to tell the authorities on you!” but rather a pathetic “Have a good life, y’all” and then a stroll down the studio with his surgically challenged wife. I can hear Bill Hicks say “You fuckers!” inside my little head about this.

It seemed religion was used as a door-stopper here. Phil could have told Dan to get a job or have the authorities take his kids away, but no, I don’t think that would have gone down with Phil’s viewers in the bible-belt or anywhere else where people are christian. Oh, I do wish I could say the mentioned parents were merely insane, but that would sound as if I was trying to explain away the mad aspects of their religion.

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2 Responses to “Dr. Phil again”

  1. Mia Says:

    Here’s a third solution: Janna will receive anonymous text messages saying that Dan will soon “go home”. Since it’s obviously God testing Janna, Janna will go on and kill Dan. The messages will then be traced back to Helge Fossmo. When the two of them meet Helge convinces Janna to stand by his side and help him through his Heavenly Battles. Each battle won is celebrated with sexual intercourse. Then Helge suddenly remembers, he’s got a wife! Janna receives more anonymous text messages saying that Helge’s wife will be killed. And so Janna kills her. Janna and Helge lives happily ever after. In prison.

  2. Niklas Says:

    But, of course! It makes perfect sense, seeing how God works in mysterious ways. Don’t forget, the husband is the leader of the family and is responsible for their emotional growth, the one who must take every important decision as He knows best, so that’s all good.

    By the way, please don’t refer to The Act Of Pleasing God as “sexual intercourse” as it’s not sexual in any way; it’s just what God tells Dan to do. Does this make God a voyeur?

    I wish Dan would blog.

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