May 25th, 2009
At grandma’s
This Thursday I went to see my grandmother’s apartment for the first time since she died.
It was quite solemn in a way. My sister, my parents and Mia were there. I cried. We looked through her cupboards and stuff. I felt as though grandma would pop out at any moment, smiling as she often did, lovingly giving me silent permission to do whatever with her stuff.
She’s left her mortal life behind. It’s harder to come to terms with than I reckoned it would, even though I hardly reckoned anything at all. She was so filled to the brim with joyous life that some people I know – who claim to be alive – are damp in comparison.
I picked a few items of hers that I really wanted to own. My sister took a plaque that read “LÄR DIG LIVETS SVÅRA GÅTA/ÄLSKA, GLÖMMA OCH FÖRLÅTA”1 and I picked a few items that will always remind me of her.
I still write about her as if she were living.
Here’s a little slideshow of pictures from her home.
- Translates as follows: “LEARN THE HARD LESSON OF LIFE/LOVE, FORGET AND FORGIVE”.[back]
