November 3rd, 2009
Worlds and music
Mia and I have been making a lot of soups recently. I love it. I love making food from what feels like scratch. And I’ve been riding a bus as part of work.
It’s made me settle down. Last week was insane. This week, I hope, will be easier on me. Still, I’d love a bit more structure. But it’s another incentive to search for a new job. We’ll see what the future brings.
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Elliott Smith – “Say Yes” performed live @ Studion, Stockholm, 1998-06-02
As the leaves fall for the 32th time in my life and everything turns a bright yellow, red and green withdraws at differing speeds, the rain brushes the trees and I feel like snuggling in a couch all left to my own devices with Mia. Of late, this has meant watching TV, having cooked delicious foods. We’ve been watching Tony Hill in what’s supposed to be the very last season of “Wire In The Blood“. There’s been a lot of love. A lot of lovely weirdness, too.
The cats have behaved better. I don’t know why, really. When Lotta abandons her nest on top of the TV and attacks me by sounding like a turkey and plows her spade-shaped head into mine I feel happy; when she says hi by standing on top of my belly just after I’ve eaten supper I feel happy too – and ready to hurl.
Gazing out of the window right now makes me realise it feels like a late summer day rather than a day saved from the wretches that usually is the Swedish autumn: rain, winds, cold. Harsh weather. But I choose to shape my world my way. It’ll be tinted. Glowing. And weird.
…and more I will not say. Mia has already done that better.
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Einstürzende Neubauten – “Prolog”
When the world around me changes shape I love it. It’s often something really positive. When I was little my mom (hello mom!) and all of my teachers indoctrinated me with a Swedish proverb that goes “there is no bad weather, only bad clothing”1. I quickly grew allergic to those words. I felt there was nothing wrong with the clothes, even though I was mostly dressed in body-suits that sported a shell about three decimeters thick, resistant to anything, come rain or phosphorous hand grenades.2 I just disliked the weather. I didn’t want to go out, but wanted to stay in. Could help in explaining my chubby figure.
But today it’s a different matter. I look forward to stepping out into the climate that may come, except some times. I love walking side by side with Mia as it offers a reality that is so distant to that of my walking alone. When alone, I walk quickly. With Mia, I adapt to her pace and I feel like I’m glowing; we’re two cinders setting off sparks. I’m happy.
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Keith Jarrett – “Country”
And soon it’s time to venture out into the cold night of November. I’ve just discovered Keith Jarrett and I never thought I’d get into this kind of music. Exciting, yet still unnerving in a bad sense – at the worst of times. Still, his “The Köln Concert” is never anything less than absolutely marvellous. Fantastic. Adjectives weighed.
I never got the chance to play Pet Shop Boys‘ “My October Symphony“.
Working in the dark makes you feel more motivated at times. At least I feel like that for the first days. I’ve just heard that Stockholm is in the timely phase where its inhabitants lose five minutes of light every day. So every day is more filled with dark. And still I feel as though light pushes through and wins. Every time.
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Crime Mob – “Stilettos (Pumps) (Holy Fuck remix)”
I’m really looking forward to the week coming up. Tomorrow evening I’m going to see “(500) Days of Summer” with Mia and Malin. Come the weekend I’ve got nothing planned, which feels really great.
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Averkiou – “C86 Me”
I’m already looking forward to more dream-scapes coming alive. Much like My Bloody Valentine. And I don’t mind if I swerve off course entirely, landing on glass shards shaped like popsicles off the tangent that is real life, whatever that may mean. Happiness is just off the bend.
