Niklas’ blog

Mia’s uncle Jörgen always gets the stick for kinda, well, being a know-it-all. So, when he decided to be a contestant on Swedish TV’s new quiz-show called “Vem Vet Bäst?”¹, I knew I had to see it. To great success. Here’s my personal edit of his two answered questions:

If you know Swedish, you’ll by now probably know - or have guessed - that he answered both questions incorrectly. Poor Jörgen! But saying that miljöpartiet’s² male mouthpiece was Gudryn Schyman, just doesn’t cut it. And the host of the show then tells him that Jörgen would probably get to hear about that from his friends and family; oh you’re damn right about that!

Rock on, Jörgen!

1. Which in English means “Who Knows Best?”[back]
2. I.e. the Swedish equivalent of the green party.[back]

Jesper came by to say hi which was a real treat! Only problem: he brought a bottle of organic wine. And we brought two. And we had a really nice time, which can be dangerous. So waking up was more moaning than morning; even so, I had a wonderful time last night. Jesper played the guitar, we all talked, laughed and…I’ve missed him a lot! Anyway, push the tempo and up the volume, here’s Jesper playing the guitar.

1. Warren Zevon - “Werewolves of London”

Zevon was kind of a Hunter S. Thompson of the music world, being a great lyricist. Indeed, they both knew and respected each other. This track sounds like it’s made to be played late in a bar. Bits of the lyrics that I like:

I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain

[...]

I saw a werewolf drinking a piña colada at Trader Vic’s
His hair was perfect

The lyrics remind me of Pulp’s “Dogs Are Everywhere“.

2. The Go! Team - “Friendship Update”

A fresco instrumental off their debut album.

3. Okkervil River - “Yellow”

I cannot possibly describe this song. Will’s the man.

4. Public Enemy - “Shut ‘em Down”

Chuck D tells us to fight the power again and to these beats, who won’t?

5. Thee Michelle Gun Elephant - “ABAKARETA SEKAI (The World Exposed)”

From what could very well be my favourite twangy rock outfit - except for Morrissey’s backing band, of course - rings this. To be heard very loudly.

6. Mystery Jets - “The Boy Who Ran Away”

Despite of their second album being a disappointment to me, this track from their debut serves as a reminder of their greatness. Still, there are a few great tracks from the new one that are very good.

7. Instant Life - “Grasshopper”

This is one of the most secret groups in Sweden; consisting of Magnus Boman from Oven & Stove and Tomas Öberg, the vocalist of bob hund, one of the very best bands to ever emerge out of Sweden. Or Europe. Or the world. Anyway, this is very different from what their respective bands produce.

8. The Jesus And Mary Chain - “Tumbledown”

Rhino has just released a compilation called “The Power Of Negative Thinking: B-sides & Rarities“, as overlooked by the brothers Reid. Time for a new album, boys. This is a little reminder of their greatness.

9. Shitdisco - “Reactor Party”

Somebody ought to kick Klaxons in the nuts for being so lame in comparison with this lot, and give them an award for lyrics like these:

We’ve never heard of the Ministry of Sound and
We’ve never heard of the underground and
There’s not enough polis to close it down
Not enough polis in this whole town

Left over Soviet
Infrastructure
Fractured nuclear
Fission rupture
Furthest outpost
of bourgeois hardcore
Cossack dancing
on a concrete dancefloor

10. Popsicle - “Not Forever”

One of the strongest indie-bands to come out of Sweden, ever. Carrying two good songwriters and fierce tracks, this is probably their most well-known song, released a year or two before going defunct. Brilliant pop.

11. Space - “Me and You vs The World”

While some may remember this English band from the hey-day of britpop best for songs like “Female Of The Species” and “Neighbourhood“, this fantastic tale of love and death will forever be on my lovelist.¹

12. ELO - “Living Thing”

Nobody is allowed to oversee the power of this track. I mean, the violin? The high-pitched singing? The weird solos? The chorus, all arpeggio? You bet. Dancing my legs off to this song is one of my fave guilty pleasures.

13. Hedwig And The Angry Inch - “Angry Inch”

If you’re from before-the-wall Germany, you want to go to The Holy USA with the man of your dreams, and you just have to get your penis cut off, you do it, right? Well, Hansel Hedwig did just that, only to be kicked to the kerb a lonely housewife - or, rather caravan-wife - in the middle of Kansas. Well, sod that. Hedwig started playing Nirvana-covers with a bunch of Asian housewives and soon reinvented herself. Sounds insane? See the film! Here’s a bit of the lyrics for this song:

My sex change operation got botched
My guardian angel fell asleep on the watch
Now all I’ve got is a barbie doll crotch
I’ve got an angry inch

Cause for anger: accepted.

14. Vatican DC - “Smiling Dogs”

Energetic, hell yes. I love the guitars on this track; I’ve seldom heard poppy guitars working this well together.

1. As will the soundtrack for the film “Shooting Fish” be; this song is featured on the notably great soundtrack.[back]

Ooh! It’s election time in the USA again! Well, in the beginning of November, but who cares? Well, I do, so shut the hell up and listen to this:

I care even more about the many things Palin thinks she knows but doesn’t: like her conviction that the Biblical God consciously directs world events.

Thus goes a little rant that Sam “The End of Faith” Harris has written about Sarah Palin, the American conservative party vice president, who puts her faith in the Lawd.

What I like about Harris is his ability to break religion down so that you react with your gut - just like Stephen Colbert - although not like oh, wow! but rather blizzow, this idiot has the power to unleash nuclear weapons on us!

You can learn something about a person by the company she keeps. In the churches where Palin has worshiped for decades, parishioners enjoy “baptism in the Holy Spirit,” “miraculous healings” and “the gift of tongues.” Invariably, they offer astonishingly irrational accounts of this behavior and of its significance for the entire cosmos. Palin’s spiritual colleagues describe themselves as part of “the final generation,” engaged in “spiritual warfare” to purge the earth of “demonic strongholds.” Palin has spent her entire adult life immersed in this apocalyptic hysteria. Ask yourself: Is it a good idea to place the most powerful military on earth at her disposal? Do we actually want our leaders thinking about the fulfillment of Biblical prophecy when it comes time to say to the Iranians, or to the North Koreans, or to the Pakistanis, or to the Russians or to the Chinese: “All options remain on the table”?

Harris makes me laugh and cringe, and even goes through his trademark thing, like “ok, you’re christian and you follow the bible word-for-word; I get that your life is being run according to old scripture that is full of contradictions and has no scientific proof to back the existence of an all-seeing, all-controlling diety, but you won’t let a non-surgeon perform surgery on you?” The end says all:

When asked why she is qualified to shoulder more responsibility than any person has held in human history, Palin cites her refusal to hesitate. “You can’t blink,” she told Gibson repeatedly, as though this were a primordial truth of wise governance. Let us hope that a President Palin would blink, again and again, while more thoughtful people decide the fate of civilization.

Read Harris’ entire article here.

What do you mean, industrialised? That’s snow, not soot!

As I’ve just converted a whole bunch of old films from DVD for work, we’re getting ready to publish them everywhere. It’s all public domain material as it’s more than 50 years old. Footage from the 30s, especially overlooking Stockholm as it once was, can be really interesting. In the snippet below, Swedish painter Bruno Liljefors is shown parading his penthouse suite and overlooking more than 180 degrees of Stockholm from near Sankt Eriksbron.

Here’s a couple of quotes from the clip to set the tone:

He has acquired a warm and airy patriarch’s beard.

[...]

“It is beautiful,” says Bruno Liljefors, “and that is why I like it here.”

Do note the reporter’s tone, high-pitched and very articulate; the high pitch is due to speed issues with audio back in the day, and the articulation…that’s just how things were. The speakers had to talk in a very clear, articulate Stockholm accent. I believe Swedish speakers with other accents weren’t allowed to speak on radio and TV until the 70s, which caused a ruckus.

I miss talking with my grandmother about the olden days, from before the matchstick was invented, before cars, before cinema, TV and fire the Internet. When I was little, I used to spend a lot of time with my grandma and listen to her tales, and also with a neighbour named Stig, who was in his 70s. He told me about when he was a kid, how he’d saved money forever to afford to go into town and see his first film, by The Marx Brothers, and what that felt like. He told me little details, like the texture of the carpet in the lobby of the cinema, how much he’d spent on candy and what it felt like before the film started. I sat nailed to my seat as he spoke.

Mia and I met her mom and her aunt on Friday to shop. We did! Or, rather, they did. Mia found a pair of very nice shoes that she adores and even though her mum tried to shirk her way out of it by entering a store and seconds later stand outside it - of course smoking - she ended up with a few picks of clothes that I strongly think Mia was involved in picking out.

We went to TGI Friday’s at Kungsträdgården and ate a bunch of quesadillas, which was very nice; combined with Kilkenny’s, I felt like a king afterwards! We laughed throughout the dinner and then made way to go and shop more, after which we all travelled to Flen, where Mia’s mum and aunt live. I haven’t laughed that hard on a train since gawd-knows-when, and to say I loved it would be a massive understatement.

The day after we celebrated Mia’s mom’s birthday! Yay, Ullis! Relatives dropped by, gave presents and we had delicious foods that Ullis had made. In the evening, Ullis, Tomas (her boyfriend), Mia and I went to Trubadurkväll 2008, which is an event in Flen, where local talents turn up, play an instrument and sing. One female used a synthesizer. The rest were men and used acoustic guitars. Horrid. Listen for yourselves:

Never mind the video, just listen, and if you’re Swedish you’ll quickly hear one troubadour sing about feminism, being a fuckhead hater in the process. Another one slaughters Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors“. Wah! We left quite early. I just wanted to grab a guitar, play and sing something that mattered. That’s how I felt anyway, narcissistic me.

We went home and watched “Bad Santa”. If you haven’t seen it - do! It’s a brilliant comedy that makes fun of a lot of “tabu” subjects in the right way, just by being straightforward. No dodging here. The script was excellent and the actors great; the direction was supreme, holding the film together. I actually don’t know when I’ve last seen a film that’s been this coherent, in lack of a better word.

We read on through Gitta Sereny’s “Unheard Cries“, the book on Mary Bell; it’s a slow read, but highly interesting and thoroughly recommendable so far.

On Sunday Mia and I had promised to join her mother’s parents on a little walk where you answer multiple-answer questions nailed to trees - this is common in Sweden, and is called tipspromenad - but we screwed up the time and ended up at the place where we’d all meet up, just in time to meet the grands who were just finishing up. Oh well, no love lost; instead, Mia and I walked to their place for cake and sandwiches. Walking in sunshine on the way there, wind blowing slowly, people all around, talking with Mia. Supreme. That feeling will stay with me for a long time.

Having left Mia’s grandparents we left for Stockholm, where we crashed silently. Slowly. Everything ground to a halt, in a very calm and nice way. Perfect. I love weekends like these, as well as weekends that are completely calm, reserved for doing nothing. Bliss.

Stockholm is really, really pretty, and it’s easy to forget that when you’re born and braised here.

As I haven’t written anything geeky in a while, I think it’s time!

The above image shows Chart Advisor, which is an add-in for use in MS Excel 2007. From the company page about the magic:

Chart Advisor is a prototype that provides an alternate approach for creating charts in Excel 2007. This add-in uses an advanced rules engine to scan your data and, based on predefined rules, displays charts according to score. Top scoring charts are available for you to preview, tweak, and insert into your Excel worksheet.

Microsoft have got a video up there, but screw that, this add-in is great in theory - but doesn’t really work in practice. I even used the sample data that Microsoft recommend using here; the Chart Advisor suggest one type of chart but, I cannot even use region names as placeholders; true, this is a prototype, but come on! Little can be learned through trying to use the Chart Advisor oneself. I’ve even created a couple of rudimentary tables of data and tried to use those, but Chart Advisor just says “Chart Advisor could not find an appropriate chart for the data currently selected.” Yuck.

Still, I’ll have it installed as it can be automatically upgraded whenever Microsoft releases a new version. When working, I guess it’ll work as a nice step for people who would love some automatic, quick help on creating charts and don’t want to learn how to create pivot tables to quickly re-generate charts to show what they need.

So, it’s time for the 21st installment of my compilation series titelled insane shit without any discernible theme. Here go the words:

1. Brad Fiedel - “1″

This track is from the very rare all-songs edition of the soundtrack to “Fright Night“, the old 80s horror movie with Roddy McDowell and a lot of bad special effects. Of course, the soundtrack includes a lot of analogue synths, guitar solos and painfully obvious sounds to say ooh, this is scary!

2. SebastiAn - “Ross Ross Ross”

When your music is this strong, why not repeat a word three times in the title? I love the way SebastiAn uses silence as emphasis.

3. Those Dancing Days - “Space Hero Suits”

As this Swedish pop-outfit is bound to release their debut LP, this track is one of the better on it. Think naïve 80s pop with production of today and you’ll get a fair picture of their sound; and by the way, somebody voice-coach that singer, and they’d be beyond the skies!

4. Public Enemy - “Fight The Power”

The video by Spike Lee is good, but the message of this track hits about as hard as the fact that Joely Richardson is anorectic:

Elvis was a hero to most
But he never meant shit to me you see
Straight up racist that sucker was
Simple and plain
Mother fuck him and John Wayne
Cause I’m Black and I’m proud
I’m ready and hyped plus I’m amped
Most of my heroes don’t appear on no stamps

The problem being that there’s no proof that Elvis ever was racist - rather evidence to the contrary, as read in Peter Guralnick’s masterpiece biography on Elvis - but still, Chuck D points a stabbing finger to show that rap is indeed, as he called it, “CNN for black people”. For further interesting views on that, check this video where Chuck D comments how CNN questioned hip-hop to be “art or poison”.

5. Rage Against The Machine - “Know Your Enemy”

This track incites riots and builds resistance. Like Atari Teenage
Riot once said, riot sounds produce riots! The same can be said about
this track, from Rage Against The Machine’s eponymous debut album,
where singer Zack De La Rocha raps:

Fight the war, fuck the norm
Now I got no patience
So sick of complacence
With the D the E the F the I the A the N the C the E
Mind of a revolutionary
So clear the lane
The finger to the land of the chains
What?
The land of the free?
Whoever told you that is your enemy!

Indeed. Long live this track!

6. Funkacise Gang/Soul Grabber/Lil’ Louis And The World - “Funkacise/Motocross Madness/French Kiss”

This track is culled from 2 Many DJs magnificent mix album “As Heard On Radio Soulwax Pt. 2“, an album that everybody should own. David Bowie does, which means you must, too.

7. House Jam - “Gang Gang Dance”

A band that really make different tracks; it’s a massive mix of rock-electronica-ragga. This song is a kind of laid-back electronica song, though.

8. Silver Sun - “There Goes Summer”

Oh, as it’s time for autumn to spread its wings, here’s James Broad and company keeping that last beat of summer’s heart pumping through our veins. Power-pop me out, please.

Well, that was a magnificent concert. I feared it’d turn out sweaty and make it impossible to breathe, as when I saw Einstürzende Neubauten there, but this time all was well. Or rather, more than well; this lot churned out breathtaking, frail songs of such intensity I thought of Band of Horses, Saul Williams and a few epic soundtracks thanks to T-Bone Burnett. But those similes aren’t true.

Bon Iver held their own beautifully. Sadly, the batteries in my phone gave up as I was about to film them, so here’s a snippet of Anaïs Mitchell, the opening act.

First set for release in July 2008, but now shot to January 2009, the re-issued version of “Southpaw Grammar” will include three previously unreleased tracks. True To You now reveals what the new cover art for the re-issued edition of “Southpaw Grammar” looks like.

For your comparative pleasures, here’s the old artwork:

…and here’s the new:

Here you’ll find some previous mutterings of mine on the subject of Morrissey artwork. What you think of the new cover?

edit, 2008-10-01:

The release-date is now set for 2009-01-26 and here’s the newly released info and track-listing:

BMG have announced 26 January 2009 as the release date for the re-issued ‘Southpaw grammar’.

1 The Boy Racer

2 Do Your Best and Don’t Worry

3 Reader Meet Author

4 Honey, You Know Where to Find Me

5 Dagenham Dave

6 Southpaw

7 Best Friend on the Payroll

8 Fantastic Bird

9 The Operation

10 The Teachers are Afraid of the Pupils

11 You Should Have Been Nice to Me

12 Nobody Loves Us

Yes, in the wake of Muxtape I’m constantly lying to you about what sites I’ll publish my tape through, but as Favtape has just rocked my world I’ll just relay a little about it to you and say what Muxtape #20 is about.

Favtape is described by TechCrunch as Muxtape on steroids, and I can only concur. The availability of the songs aren’t based on your uploading them, but rather searching for them through Favtape, which will use your last.fm or Pandora account for creating a playlist. Nice! But where are the files from? From TechCrunch:

One of Favtape’s biggest advantages over Muxtape (but also its main weakness) is its heavy reliance on Seeqpod, a music site that indexes music files across the web but never hosts them.

Of course, this means one can easily and quickly create a mixtape, but it also provides three setbacks, as I see it¹:

1. The songs may not exist. Even if you add them to your tape, they may simply be skipped if the system can’t find them.

2. The version of the song may not be the one you had in mind when adding it. When I created this playlist, I thought of Manic Street Preachers’ “This Is Yesterday” from their album. The version on my Favtape is not from the album and only features James Dean Bradfield playing an acoustic guitar and singing.

3. The technical quality of the songs differ. Some may be 64Kbps, others higher. This means that while one rock track may feature crisp hi-hat sounds, another may sound like christmas bells.

Here’s my playlist, and you’ll get a ton more of functionalities if you go to its Favtape page here.

1. Babyshambles - “Loyalty Song”

Even though Pete Doherty somehow hangs on to his image as lullaby dreaming poet, I think it’s increasingly evident that his career is on the skids due to drugs and alcohol. Still, during his more salient days, he churned out tracks like this one, which I love much due to former Babyshambles guitarist Patrick Walden, who now has a new band, called Big Dave.

2. Manic Street Preachers - “This Is Yesterday”

From the last album in their canon that I discovered, springs one of the most beautiful tracks on it; as written, this is not the album version, but an acoustic with James Dean Bradfield singing his heart out, as written by Richie Edwards.

3. Immortal Technique - “Mistakes”

Even though my favourite new-school political rapper has finally released his third album, “The Middle Passage”, most of the tracks off that Green Lantern-produced album aren’t as good as his two first ones. Regardless, a track like this, that both shakes the hips and hates all major record labels is very nice indeed.

4. Shinichi Osawa - “Star Guitar”

Yes, it’s a cover of the old track by The Chemical Brothers, which is quite telling because electronica-people rarely cover other electroniae, but this is a most welcome addition to the pack. Osawa’s album “The One” has been among my most played for the past two weeks that I’ve known it, so go give it a try; also, check out the tracks and pics at his MySpace-page.

5. Placebo - “Pure Morning”

I’ve had a hard time getting into this group, but they finally hit home due to their singles-collection, “Once More with Feeling: Singles 1996-2004″. Way back when it was released, I hated Brian Molko’s voice and firmly disliked the lyrics, but now I love the drone and care for the video. Must be the age. Soon you’ll find me filling up this blog with jazz, pictures of mimes and me writing aeons on how much I love crumpets.

6. Morrissey - “You Know I Couldn’t Last”

The ending track of his radiant “You Are The Quarry”, it’s bitter in the right perspective, hurt, airy and descriptive. Blue, gelignite-filled eyes, fiends waiting to creep up and mug you as the cash-register breaks your back, oh, oh; the squalor of the mind. Brilliant fade-out chords.

7. Justice - “Stress (Autoremix)”

What you’ll hear when listening to this is probably - but not certainly - the album version of this track, but what I really want you to hear is the version tagged autoremix. You’ll find it here. Oh, lacklustre Favtape!

8. Wilson Pickett - “Land Of 1000 Dances”

Aw, a real soul-funk grinda! Geddoan-upp-ah!

9. Metallica - “Suicide And Redemption”

I’ve rarely liked Metallica, and the documentary on them - “Some Kind Of Monster” - didn’t exactly make me like them more, especially Lars Ulrich. Now, they’ve released a new album and for some inexplicable reason I like it. I do! But wait, the album is audially fucked-up. One of the biggest bands in the world apparently doesn’t hire people who can mix their album properly. Sad story. Even sadder, that the good-sounding version is only available through buying the Guitar Hero-version of the album! Weird and sick, but true. Anyway, this song is good! Why, I cannot say.

1. Still, hotter than shoes modelled after Stephin Merritt.[back]

edit: we’re on the band’s front page right now¹. Weird and sweet.

A blog called Everybody Cares, Everybody Understands recently rallied for people to send their renditions of Okkervil River’s brilliant track “Lost Coastlines“, off their latest LP. Here’s the track in its entirety:

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 6 or above) is required to play this audio clip. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Mia and I submitted two videos, one where she and I sat down in orderly fashion, sang the track and I played an acoustic guitar. We repeated this until we were happy - and until my paws were frikking bleeding from all the grinding - and submitted it.

But not until we’d recorded a much darker version.

As Björn and Kuba came over to party with us, we all got roaringly drunk and Mia had her senses intact enough to film us while singing, dancing and (me) poorly handling the guitar over OR’s track playing in the background.

Here’s the finished product including all the fan submissions that made it, courtesy of Chad at ECEU:

1. 2008-09-22[back]

As today’s a day for me to carry the emergency phone and answer questions that users ask, I answered to the best of my abilities.

Me: IT Department, Niklas speaking.
User: Hello! This is X speaking. I’ve got a problem with a printer.
M: I see. What seems to be the problem?
U: The printer…should we use this printer or the other?
M: Pardon, but which printers are you referring to?
U: The other one.
M: …so, to clarify, you have two printers. Are they faulty in any way?
U: No.
M: So how may I help you?
U: We need to configure one.
M: Right! Is it a network printer, or locally installed?
U: It’s a network printer, which is yet to be connected. We just got it delivered from another location.
M: I see. Can you locate a network port at the back of the printer?
U: Ehm…I find…I find…a JetDirect thing.

A JetDirect box is a little box that is needed to connect some HP printers to a network.

M: Good. You should be able to connect the JetDirect-box to the printer.
U: Umm…that’s not possible.
M: Is the cable that is used to connect the two missing?
U: Umm…that’s not the problem. Hello? Hello?
M: Yes, I’m here.

I receive no reply, and hereby spend about 30 seconds in silence with no answer whatsoever. Just as I’m about to hang up the phone:

U: HELLO!
M: [half-deafened] Yes, hello.
U: I was talking to a few other persons back there for a while.
M: Eh, no worries; so, back to your printer problem; is there–
U: I can’t connect the box with the printer.
M: I see. Is that because a cable is missing and–
U: We have to connect the printer to the network.
M: Yes, that is what we’re attempting to do, right now.
U: Yes.
M: Is the cable that is used to connect the printer with the JetDirect-box missing?
U: Yes.
M: Right. Can you find it anywhere among the components that you have retrieved from the original location?
U: Of course not!
M: I see. Well, do you have a network cable available?
U: What’s that?

I explain. The user says there’s one connected to the JetDirect-box.

M: Good! The network cable should be connected to the JetDirect-box and then plugged into a network socket using the other end of the cable.
U: The other end?
M: Yes, the other end that is not connected at all, at the moment.
U: How do I know whether it is connected to anything or not?
M: Just follow the network cable that is connected to the JetDirect-box and see if it is connected to anything at the end.
U: Oh, hang on.

The user inspects the 0.5-metre-long cable for 10 seconds and returns.

U: It’s not connected anywhere! Should I connect the box to the printer now or later?
M: [puzzled] Um, you previously said there was no way for you to connect the box with the printer. Are you able to do that now?
U: Why, yes. Shall I?
M: By all means.
U: There! Now it’s connected.
M: Great! Now, you’ve got to connect the network cable that runs from the box into a network port in a wall nearby. Are there any network ports available?
U: Yes, there is a free one right next to me.

The user connects the printer to the network port, then makes sure the port is active.

M: Great, now the printer is connected to the network!
U: Good. Can you help me with connecting the computers to the printer.
M: Sure, what’s the name of the first computer you would like connected?
U: It’s Y.

I discover it’s impossible to connect to Y. It doesn’t answer in any way, as if it’s recently been disconnected.¹

M: Can you please check the computer to see whether or not a network cable is plugged into the computer?
U: It must be!
M: I hope so, but I cannot access the computer, as there seems to be some kind of network problem involved. Can you please check the back of the computer to see whether the network cable is plugged in or not, and–
U: Sure, hang on.

Half a minute later:

U: It is.
M: What I was going to say, was “please check the back of the computer to see whether the network cable is plugged in or not, and also check whether the two lights - one orange, one green - right next to the port in the computer are alight, blinking or dead.”
U: Oh. I think they are.
M: Would you mind checking that for me?
U: Sure.

Ten seconds later:

U: They’re dead.
M: Oh, would you please try to jam the network cable just a little more into the computer, to make sure it’s locked with the computer the right way?
U: Oh sure, hang on.

Half a minute later:

U: The network cable isn’t there!
M: Well, that explains our problem. Where is the network cable?
U: I don’t know! But I do know one thing.

Ah, the dramatic approach.

M: Pray tell, what is that?
U: That we have three computers, one printer, and no network ports available.

Oh, yes.

M: Ah. This gives you three options: either you leave one computer for dead with the printer working, or leave the printer dead with all computers working, or you ring a supplier who will come by to install a new network port in a wall, which will allow you to connect all computers and the printer at once.
U: Come again?

I repeat what I just said.

U: Umm…but can’t…can’t we all…

At this point I thought of Rodney King saying “Can’t we all just get along?”

U: …can’t we just get another…um.
M: Well, those are the only solutions.
U: But what if…what if…I connect a computer into a telephone?
M: …
U: Oh, of course, that wouldn’t work. Thank you!

The user then hung up.

1. For the nerds reading this, the DHCP-server carried its entry as if the computer was registered a mere 30 minutes before I received the user’s call.[back]

This video shows “Green Beret“, an old Commodore 64-track by Martin Galway as processed through the mind of Reyn Ouwehand, multi-talented musician. Holy lord. This could have become utterly boring as it’s a cover, but no.

YES! I’ve loved the book “The Men Who Stare At Goats” since Jon Ronson released it. I think it’s the one book I’ve given away to most friends, and I fully recommend getting it now.

And George Clooney is now turning it into film, starring Kevin Spacey, Ewan McGregor and Jeff Bridges. Filming will start in October this year.

For those of you who don’t know anything about the book, read on:

This exploration of the U.S. military’s flirtation with the supernatural is at once funny and tragic. It reads like fiction, with plenty of dialogue and descriptive detail, but as Ronson’s investigation into the government’s peculiar past doings creeps into the present-and into Iraq-it will raise goose bumps. As Ronson reveals, a secret wing of the U.S. military called First Earth Battalion was created in 1979 with the purpose of creating “Warrior Monks,” soldiers capable of walking through walls, becoming invisible, reading minds and even killing a goat simply by staring at it. Some of the characters involved seem well-meaning enough, such as the hapless General Stubblebine, who is “confounded by his continual failure to walk through his wall.” But Ronson soon learns that the Battalion’s bizarre ideas inspired some alarming torture techniques being used in the present-day War on Terror. One technique involves subjecting prisoners to 24 hours of Barney the Purple Dinosaur’s song, “I Love You,” and another makes use of the Predator, a small, toy-like object designed by military martial arts master Pete Brusso that can inflict a large amount of pain in many different ways (”You can take eyeballs right out… with this bit,” Brusso tells Ronson).

I really hope the film will be released sooner than 2010, but I’m guessing not. Go get the book until then, it’s scary, funny and horrible.

The Stand Ins/The Stage Names

As I cannot sleep and scour the Internet, I just found this snippet jammed into a post about “The Stand Ins”, i.e. the new album by Okkervil River:

I thought the reason I like this album so much more is that it’s a bit more true to the bands roots so I’m surprised diehards would be let down by it.

This is what I commented:

On this note: I’ve always thought the queer notion that bands should adhere to previous aesthetics of their released recordings is strange. This may be because I expect this from my favourite bands, e.g. Einstürzende Neubauten, The Smiths (of course now defunct), Super Furry Animals, and also Okkervil River. Bands - as they’re made up of people - develop. I’ve found OR’s leaps and bounds to be shiny and interesting, even though I cannot say I love all they’ve produced, but that goes for their oldest as well as their latest recorded songs.

While basically no-one (as far as my near-sighted vision goes, apparently) has written about the experimental “The Stand Ins, part x” on the new album, about how they relate to stuff like “A Forest” off “Black Sheep Boy Appendix” or just about what they think of them, I believe a lot of people would now just like more new songs to be similar to “Kansas City” or “Black” in terms of sound, when they clearly aren’t.

And of course, as with human relations, when a band one dearly loves moves in a new direction and loses what was once their appeals to you, it can sever bonds, but still lets you hold on to those memories of yore. Like Oasis and Marilyn Manson today are to me; I think they’re continually proving they’ll never make another “Definitely Maybe” or “Antichrist Superstar”, respectively, but I still love those albums.

Alright, I know I said I’m ditching Muxtape for Posterous and I am, but at the same time, I’ve got to be flexible. Right? Can’t look like an unmade bed in the face and just leave you all there without any music. Any. Right. So here’s number 19, featuring a dazzling 20 tracks! Use the above player to go git!

1. The Polecats - “John, I’m Only Dancing”

This old rockabilly lot grew strong off of this one, a David Bowie-cover. Nobody thought more of them, until, of course, guitarist Boz Boorer joined Morrissey and has played with him since.

2. David Holmes - “The Ballad of Sarah & Jack”

This is a soothing yet harrowing track to me. Piano-based, slow and melodic, recorded as if Holmes was using old instruments and recording equipment to capture feelings found from looking through his parents’ old pictures. More on his new, good album here.

3. Woven Hand - “White Knuckle Grip”

From David Eugene Edwards’ mind springs a new album by Woven Hand, “Ten Stones”, which hands us the well-known sound of theirs while showcasing how their craft is further finessed. Songs like this one reminds me of Nick Cave while other tracks forces me to concentrate on his voce. The melodies are pushed, thrown out there, sometimes gazing at the stars, sometimes gripping you by the shoulders and telling you to wake the fuck up.

4. TV On The Radio - “Halfway Home”

Oh yeah, another album released by a very nice band; this being the intro track, I love the playfulness and how Tunde Adebimpe sounds like a mix of Gruff Rhys and Saul Williams; the ba-ba-baa-baa-baa refrain wins me over instantly. A must-have, this album.

5. Justice - “Planisphère Part 2″

Justice has made a little mix for fashion-house Dior, which incorporates their usual analogue sounds and beats, yet goes to show how they can use something as tiny as the arpeggio stroke of a key to funk stuff up. The mix incorporates a few elements from their album, “Cross”, yet is quite nice as a whole, momentarily forcing me to dance.

6. Glasvegas - “Be My Baby”

Yeah, I know, I’ll shut up about this lot soon enough, but here’s a cover they’ve done which is a b-side vinyl release. The Ronettes should be…displeased if they’d be expecting anything other than a note-by-note cover. With lots of reverb thrown in, of course.

7. The Gutter Twins - “Deep Hit Of Morning Sun”

This duo are just releasing a semi-album of covers, titelled “Adorata”, including this track originally by Primal Scream.

8. Mogwai - “I’m Jim Morrison, I’m Dead”

Always competing with Morrissey, Super Furry Animals and Anal Cunt for the best song-titles, this lot have just released their new album, “Hawk Is Howling” and this is the opening track. Keep a look-out for them, as they’re set to kick off their tour.

9. Okkervil River - “On Tour With Zykos”

Previously known through its better title, “Guy I Knew, Girl I Met“, this track is one of the best off their new album, “The Stand Ins”, which is the follow-up to “The Stage Names”, serving as an appendix. I love it. Will’s voice is really maturing now, coming into new breadths with him realising his potentials, which seem to be expanding by every record. Listening to old tracks like “For The Captain”¹ and comparing it with the vocal triumph on tracks off this album, e.g. this one, reminds me of Morrissey’s voice as it (in my mind, anyway) started to find more realms circa “Vauxhall & I”. Buy this album!

10. Sen Dog - “Fumble”

I’ve still no idea how this happened, but his debut solo album is still way better than anything released by Cypress Hill in the past few years. Whoa!

11. The Vaselines - “Son of a Gun”

Oldie goldie from the shores of Scotland, this is a great song. Simple, plain.

12. Saul Williams - “Act III Scene 2 (Shakespeare)”

Together with Zack De La Rocha this is a stand-out track from Williams’ first LP, unwavering and blissfully angry electronica.

13. Nitzer Ebb - “Without Belief”

One of my favourite synth-based EBM-groups, who have by the way just left legendary label Mute, here present a track off their often-overlooked album “Belief”. Minimal and hard, just as I love ‘em.

14. Marshall Jefferson - “Move Your Body”

One of the ultimate house-tracks. Nothing more needs to be said, apart from telling that Soulwax have culled the bass off it for their recent live-documentary-cum-album, “Part Of The Weekend Never Really Dies”.

15. Altern-8 - “Move My Body”

Two jinxters from England made a long-standing impression on me with the album “Full On…Mask Hysteria”, consisting of breakbeats, horns and rave sounds. Altern-8 are a bit like The KLF, but more prank-loving. The songs are good, though! And who can resist two men in chemical warfare suits?

16. The Fall - “Ride Away”

Mark E. Smith is a legend in his own right, not giving a fawk about anybody, with Bo Diddley acting the possible exception, but he’s been the leader of The Fall for 30 years. Reading his autobiography, “Renegade”, is more than nice, albeit it’s hard for me to buy into his way of reasoning at times. The music is quite the same, either you love it, hate it or dig into a few songs; me, I’m more to-and-fro rather than being all in or out. Make your choice.

17. Arctic Monkeys - “Love Machine”

This is a cover of a track by Girls Aloud, and I crack up at the backing vocals. Oh! Oh! Oh!

18. Beach Boys - “Feel Flows”

This song is a warm blanket around me, showing just how genius Brian Wilson was at song-writing. If you’re one of those who - like me - shun their album “Pet Sounds” just because you’re always hearing it’s so excellent you have to hear it, I say just wait until you hear it, and then you’ll punch yourself at least once for not having delved into it earlier. Just sayin’.

19. Bert Jansch - “Peregrinations”

This old master of the guitar started his career as a member of Pentangle before moving on with his solo career, through which he’s earned the superlative and love from people like Nick Drake, Johnny Marr, Jimmy Page and Pete Doherty.

20. Super Furry Animals - “(Drawing) Rings Around The World”

I love this simple song about connecting throughout the universe, in which SFA have called a variety of embassies around the world. I love the American voice: “Rings around the world? Oh, man…” It’s like Kraftwerk’s “The Telephone Call” but with Welsh and no braces. I love the video, although I must say I prefer the weirder, more rare version here:

1. Which is, I admit, a blow under the belt of sorts.[back]

I swear, I didn’t know Magazine - the wonderful post-punk outfit that was founded by punk godfather/mystic/intellectual/super-songsmith Howard Devoto after he left Buzzcocks - were set to reform after 29 years of non-existence for two gigs in early 2009 until after I started writing this post, but there you go. Things happen.

This track, “Shot By Both Sides“, is one of the best debut singles ever. I know how I sound by that, like some John Cusack-type of character, but if you haven’t heard it you must, immediately. Here’s the original as written by Howard Devoto and Steve Shelley:

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Incidentally, a few others have covered this, albeit live. Here’s a cover by Jarvis Cocker:

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And Radiohead’s gone and done the very same:

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All tracks will be deleted after a week. Enjoy!

As Muxtape is still in hiatus, I’m ditching it for Posterous. So, hencewith, you’ll find tracks I love right here.

As Glasvegas are releasing their eponymous debut album today, I’ve kicked things off at my Posterous by releasing the first track off said album. It’s funny to hear it as the CD sounds much like the ripped vinyls I’ve heard. They’ve really aimed for a dirtied Wall of Sound¹ with loads of reverb. True to their Scottish roots, it’s all The Jesus and Mary Chain and The Ronettes. I really like it, and am quite smitten by the singer’s lyrics at times, even though the main attraction for me are the vocal flexing paired with the guitars and general reverby sound.

1. As created by Phil Spector.[back]